The Redneck Hillbillies Official Blog

It’s graduation time for the Big Chitlin, and we’re on the hunt for a purty dress.

There’s no way in hell I’m spending $800 on a dress that will be worn for six hours, so we’re doing it the cheapskate way and skimming the Craigslist and Kijiji ads for one. Dress number one on day one was a bust, a gorgeous coral colored number that was about two sizes too small. Although when kidlet tried it on and it fit her perfectly, I ended up buying it for HER grad. Here’s hoping she still loves it just as much in two years or it will be an expensive Trash the Dress prop.

I figured it would be fun to scour the net for some rednecky prom dresses and ballgowns. Not for inspiration necessarily, but as comic relief from the stress of shopping for someone like me who detests all forms of it.

It’s been a while since I updated this blog. Sorry, I didn’t forget about y’all… People to see, things to do, places to go. That kind of thing.

I figured I’d left things hanging far too long and that it was time to fill you in on the happenings on the Redneck Hillbillies funny farm. Because I know you’re all just clamoring to hear all about it. Right? Right? Just agree and I won’t sic my fat dog on you.

First off, I uploaded a few videos of Bubba, his bro and I shootin’ up a storm in the backwoods.

Then we let the calves out of their pen, resulting in what my amazing sister says was the best video ever because she laughed hysterically. Mostly at me running back and forth like a lunatic trying to keep Jed and Jr. inside the area blocked off with electric fencing.

in related news, I am horribly out of shape. ;p

Plus I whipped up a couple designs that are more rednecky-ish than the gone squatchin stuff I’ve been focused on for the last few weeks. These designs both got TBA (Today’s Best Awards) The first one on a postcard of all things, which I think works better as an invitation or a T-shirt, and the other on a Men’s Tee even though I think the design works better for a “truck slut” tire biter type southern redneck girl.

Our family has a wide variety of “lines” that we use occasionally just popped into everyday conversation. Many of them are from an ancient children’s movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, that we watched, no word of a lie, at least a hundred times. Maybe even two or three hundred times. It was the girls’ favorite, and we didn’t have cable at the time. By the time they had outgrown it, we could each have said the whole movie script along with the characters.

That’s a nice pile of junk you got there, my boy! is a GREAT one for when Bubba brings home another project. (read: a box or pile of miscellaneous crap.) It doesn’t GO though, does it? also fits for those occasions.

A month of Sundays in the movie refers to the amount of time required for Dick Van Dyke’s character to get his stinky motorcar running again. Today though it would be my ideal month.

I LOVE Sundays. It’s the only day Bubba is guaranteed to be home and it’s the only day we can maybe do something cool. Yesterday we went shootin’, and took the Zuke up a steep mountainside to Bigfoot’s territory until we had to turn around thanks to fallen trees. I got some great photos and video clips of him aiming and firing away that I’ll throw on some merch and compile into a video over the next few days.

Along with the over used Keep Honking I’m reloading, I whipped up a couple more: